IT HAPPENS

I started expressing my emotions in words when I was 12. Back then I would write about my daily life in a small exercise book. From then on, pen and notebooks have become my daily companion. I express every single thing in there, all those deep emotions. I guess that would be the reason why now I don't quite share my problems or feelings with others, not even close friends and my mom. I thought if I were to share my stories with them, it would bore them to death. For now, I have blogger and another online page (which is mostly set to private), to turn to.

Things happen most of the time. And here comes the period where everything feels so wrong with me. I, myself am not sure what's up. With school, with drama, with family, with friends, its taking a toll on me.

Shits are happening at home. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Moments ago I felt angry with dad. Suddenly the feeling inside overwhelmed me and I was close to tears. I'm not being inconsiderate, why be angry at me for no reasons? Why only now do you care? Why not hours ago when you realise he's sick? Because you were just too busy with some other stuffs. You could've just say to them that your son is sick and needed to take care of him, they would prolly well understand the situation. And then there you were, shouting at me saying I don't even care about bro being sick when you're home. So I'm to blame. I would've talked back to you, but that hurt me so I just kept quiet. I don't freaking care anymore, I DON'T. I'm pissed. They come first, not us. At least that's what I'm feeling right now.

For drama, I promised myself to open up more, to talk more, to express more. But somehow, it gets no where to the point that I'm actually disappointed in myself for not trying more. I don't know why things doesn't comes easy on this part. But I'll try my best.

These few days, all so often tears kept rolling out so suddenly.

Yours Truly,
HASYiMAH
(hashbrown)