Why is it that whenever I venture into something new, there would always be obstacles trying to hold me down or stop me from going any further. I just started and someone asked me to stop. How peculiar. Tell me, how would a 17 year old feel to be in this situation. I have been a quitter, I must say, for the past few years and I'm not proud of it. At times I would always recall the things that I did halfway and ask myself why did I quit doing the things that I love most. I guess I was so stupid back then because if not, I would have been in a different plight right now. Is history repeating itself? Am I to go back and be that lifeless me with nothing to hold on to? I wonder.. Most of the time, I have been following what they ask me to do and burying the unhappiness inside of me for I did not speak up for myself. I would sleep with the hidden anger and unsatisfaction and wake up being angry at things. And then I would live in denial telling myself that it was not the right thing for me and that I'm not good at it, but at the same time, in the deepest most bottom of my soul, I know I'd be great at it; doing that just to please myself that I have made the right decision to quit. It is saddening and pathetic to have people telling you those things and ended up quitting.
So am I going to let it happen again? I hope not. But hope isn't any good for me. I will need the strength to say that I'm staying and not quitting. Sometimes it seems easy to say it but you would never know that the simplest thing can be the most hardest thing to say, especially when your morale is low. I am not ready to leave my new family. I am not because I'm staying, come what may.
Oh hello there wonderful people!!
Had CMC meeting for the class gathering thingy yesterday. Have yet to confirm the timing and all.
But Prom was the highlight yesterday. We got lost finding the place and came 2 hours late. Thank god the event have not start yet and they were just about to start eating when we came. The food was so-so, but it was ok la. After that, took some pics. Then some performances by Hilmy and Amar. Oh, Faris was there to perform the song that he did during speakeasy along with Hidir and Nizam. They did the cover of Lean Back too and that was when it all started. On that song, everybody started to do the 'lean-back dance' thingy and everybody started dancing. The music was pumping loud and we were basically dancing and jumping our heads off. Dance battle between the girls and guys and some hot moves were seen. Basically there were lots of grinding. Heh! I think we dance most of the time. With the smoke, loud music, the lights and all, it feels like we're in a club la heyy! Haha. I dance with the heels on for the first time. Record! After the endless battles and dancing and body surf for the guys, it was time to wrap the show. Some went off to ton whereas we went back home. Will post the pictures when I received them.
I guess that's it for today. Gotta go work in a few hours time. I won't be online in msn this week for I'll be working on the night shift. Can somebody accompany on the night shift. PLeaseeeeeeeeee!
Hah!
Ok then, see you wonderful people soon aite.
All the best; have a wonderful day and take care.
=))
I speak too much!
Yours Truly,
HASYiMAH
(hashbrown)
ps: I just wanna do the things I love. Is that hard?
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