Breaking free.

Dear mister,
U asked me the other night if i'm ok or not. I'm not. Something just happened and it is gonna affect me in the long run. I hate the tears that came out of my eyes just now. I looked stupid in front of others and for once, i hate my life. I hate being a follower inside, eventhough people see me as a leader. I hate being trapped inside, even though i looked carefree outside. Nobody understands me and neither do i. I hate tears. I had a choice, and i chose to play for my team. Am i right to do that? Am i right to put my studies aside, for once, to play the game? I know i have disappoint someone by doing so but what will happen to me if i did not follow my heart? I thought i was brave enough but i'm wrong. My weakness lies in making the right decisions that i want. My weakness lies in fighting for what i want to do. My weakness lies in forcing myself to do things that i hate. I'll play today but i guess that would be my first and last request that i asked from her. I guess, the tears that came out was tears of disappointment and anger and sadness. Why? If only people would see me differently, i wouldn't have gone through this. It is my fault. I should've stood for what i believe in. I'm not strong. I'm sorry you have to hear my cries. But i promise this would be the very last time. Somehow, u seem so far.

Yours Truly,
HASYiMAH
(hashbrown)

Remember me in that special place.
My last resort was to break free from all these things, goodbye.